To a dear loving friend

Eric was a former high school friend who always had a smile on his face, a loving heart, a smart comment to say  and full of jokes. Over the years of being friends the memories that have been made is what will keep me strong .

When Eric told me about his health my heart dropped to the floor, had no words to explain how much it hurt to know the pain will never go away , he never once complained, smiled with everything going on – even when the worst came in, he still smiled and proved he got this covered . I can’t thank him enough for everything he has done for me, even though he had himself to worry about he was always checking up on me, stay up with me during the long nights when i couldn’t sleep – talking about the most random stuff – watching cooking shows till 4am, nothing beats watching “the price is right ” with him, texting me during doctors appointments, making fun of the way the nurses would make us dress, he used to give me good excuses not to drink the test drinks (white stuff) and it worked every time –  thanks Eric 🙂 – he used to make me laugh in the middle of crying, when the pain was unbearable he knew exactly what to do .

Eric went from being a friend to a very special bond – not many people knew about our relationship – it all grew with knowing i wasn’t alone during the rough times, being able to talk to him about anything and knowing he knew what it was like, he helped me get through the year . Eric I’m sorry God broke his promise but proving he only takes the best but God will never forget waiting for 5am to go to McDonald’s for hash browns, taking pictures and sending them to each other of what we ordered, or waking up early to walk Marley to McDonald’s with us. Damn she was a handful – chasing our legs  and wanting some of everything we ate, remember when she took a poop in the middle of the drive thru and we didn’t bring a bag with us (so sounds like Marley), the nights we used to talk about our secret dates to Tim Horton’s, to watching a movie, to steak dinners – we never got to them but I’m sure one day we will.

Remember when you were in Texas, I’d leave my chat opened so i could talk to you and every time you came on i was always at work and we missed each other, counting down the days, to you rubbing it in my face how hot the weather was. The week Eric spent a couple days in the hospital, i had a test that morning – he told me to wake him up after my test and make sure i bring him harsh browns when i came – that day i spent with him before work was the best day i could ever imagine , he had the biggest smile even though he was dead tired, he was full of energy  and no pain was a sign , later that night after work he had messaged me to come for a smoke with him cause he didn’t wanna go alone – that night was the funniest night – he had no sign of pain, walking around the hospital with me and Daniel like it was nothing, going up and down the hallways on his iv stand, he smiled, laughed all night

– that same night i got to met the most strongest women i have ever met, Eric’s step mom Toni – the smile on his face when she walked in with hickey stick chips and chocolate mike was priceless, i could tell they had a special bond that was unbreakable, Eric thank you so much for allowing me to spend the night with you guys – with meeting Toni i have found it easier to find closure and comfort, she has been so strong which is allowing me to find my comfort, Toni thank you for staying up with me during the nights and being the best support i could ask for .

When i got the text of your passing, my heart dropped to the floor, no words could explain how much it hurt ,I’m sorry i didn’t get to say a final goodbye but my last goodbye was a happy one , you were smiling and laughing all night that’s the last memory i will never forget -sorry i missed your funeral – hope you can forgive me . My heart still hurts , its empty without you , the nights seem longer as they go ,i cant bare to delete your bbm -still sending texts cause i know you still get them, i look at pictures we have together, that smile brightens up the day on a cloudy night, I’ll keep those close .

You are now in a better place, it’s selfish to say i want you here , you are now in the hands of a good man who won’t let anything happen to you, you have suffered so much that now you feel no pain , no more needles , no more chemo , no more doctors appointments , no more bad news – heaven must be beautiful, where the birds sing , the winds so clean , the kids play ,the pain’s gone and the memories last .

To the strongest man i know , i love you so much and i thank you for all the memories we have shared – just knowing you’re now safe in the hands of God makes me feel a lot better, you fought a good fight and proved you were strong forever in my heart – I’ll never forget you
goodnight baby -sleep tight xo
#TEAMERIC — love always ashley xoxo

To the Haas and Pimentel family , thank you for allowing me to pour my heart out , allowing me to spend the time i could with Eric-meeting the family members i could  , you guys are a strong family and will forever be a part of me, stay strong the same way Eric was -just remember he’s only gone to rest for a while.